


Worlds Apart

by emmaliza



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Backstory, Episode: s02e02 Shadow, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kink Negotiation, Loyalty, M/M, No Smut, Power Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25725073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaliza/pseuds/emmaliza
Summary: Blake asks Gan about his attitude toward the Terra Nostra. Gan shares some of his past, and Blake shares some of his vulnerabilities.
Relationships: Roj Blake/Olag Gan
Kudos: 3





	Worlds Apart

"You were right, Gan."

Gan looks up at him curiously, eyes shifting from the controls he's just about getting a proper handle on now to Blake sitting nervously on the flight deck's couch. "I wasn't going to mention it," he says.

No, of course he wasn't. Unlike most of his crew, Gan isn't the type to gloat. There's no ego in him, none whatsoever. Blake chews upon his thumbnail, and Gan gets up from his chair to join him. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm? Yes, of course," he mutters distractedly. After all, even if it was a mistake the adventure didn't turn out too badly - except for poor Hanna, of course. Still, they are alive and have struck some sort of blow against the Federation, even a small, pointless one, one that will be forgotten in a few days... "Just a little embarrassed, that's all."

"Well we all make mistakes."

True, although Blake has found few people's mistakes can have consequences quite like his. "Why were you so set against working with the Terra Nostra?" he asks. "I might have listened to you if I understood your reasons better."

That is a pitiful attempt to deflect responsibility, but of course Gan doesn't take offense, Gan never takes offense at anything. Still, he looks uneasy, as if the question has stirred painful memories. "The Terra Nostra have their tentacles in every Federation world, and many non-Federated ones. On Zephron, they were everywhere. I was a local councillor - no-one important, not important enough to be worth killing, but still, I saw dozens of people come and go who thought they could use the Terra Nostra for their own purposes, or destroy it from the inside. They were always the ones who were destroyed, and the Terra Nostra always got stronger."

Blake blinks in surprise, not sure how to respond to this sudden torrent of information. "I didn't know you weren't from Earth," he says.

Slowly, Gan nods. "I don't boast about it," he says. "People from Earth can get odd about aliens." Alien. Certainly he would never have thought of Gan as that, but he can see why Gan would want to avoid the question entirely. "I wouldn't have lied if you asked me directly, but..." _I never asked_. Blake flinches, suddenly feeling very stupid.

"That trooper," Gan says. "The one who killed my woman. He seemed to think - it didn't matter what he did to us. After all, we weren't real people. Only aliens."

Blake can see the sadness writ plain across his face, and he wants to reach out, to touch him, hold him, comfort him - but he doesn't know how. "I'm going to destroy them," he says, because that at least comes naturally.

"I know." Unlike the others, Gan doesn't question such a lofty ambition at all. His faith is absolute. Blake sighs deeply.

"I wish I knew more."

Gan gives him a curious look, and Blake, irritably, realises he now has to explain. "I thought I knew what I was doing, that I could control them, that I was prepared for whatever they might throw at me. I was wrong." Gan just watches him sympathetically, and Blake feels free to go on. "That's the worst thing, not that I don't know, but I don't know what I don't know." An awful thought lingers at the back of his mind: they he may well have known better once, but those memories are among the many that were taken away from him, that he still hasn't put back together properly.

It takes him by surprise when Gan shifts closer, as subtly as can be expected with a body like his. "You don't have to be responsible for everything yourself, you know. If you'd only confide in us more, we could stop you when we thought you were wrong."

Blake scoffs. Gan is probably right, but-- "Unless you're planning on taking me over your knee and spanking me whenever you think I'm making a mistake, how do you think you could stop me if I had my mind set on something?"

He says it as a joke, but Gan does not laugh. Those earnest eyes keep boring into him. "I would if you wanted me to," he says.

It takes Blake just a second too long to snort in disbelief. "Don't be ridiculous, Gan," he says, averting his eyes.

"I don't think it's ridiculous." Blake feels his cheeks turn red. Gan has this pathological inability to feel embarrassed that makes him both incredibly helpful, and incredibly frightening. "You're tired Blake, you don't have to be a telepath to see that." _It doesn't hurt though_ , and he thinks of how many times Cally has told him he needs to rest. "You need to let go and relax for a little bit, but you don't find it easy to trust. I understand that, really I do! But if you ever need anything, I am here. I threw my lot in with you a long time ago Blake; there's nothing you couldn't ask me for."

Blake looks up at him from beneath his eyelashes. Gan is strong, and kind, and Blake trusts him implicitly; it would be easy to let him... But he has made himself an authority on this ship, and it would not do to take advantage.

Abruptly he stands up, hoping to clear his head before he reaches the doorway. When he does, however, he hesitates. It would not do to leave without an explanation. "I'm headed to my rooms," he says, and he looks back over his shoulder anxiously, to see Gan give him a puzzled frown. "I don't suppose you'd care to join me?"

Gan grins at him, and that fills Blake with relief, relief he's not entirely sure he's entitled to.


End file.
